LOST SPOILER PARADISE IS BACK!!!

Dearest Lost Spoiler Addicts, THE LOST GURU IS BACK!!!!!!!!





Now, I know what everyone is thinking!! Why has it been so long, Guru!??! While I legally can't tell you the full story, I can tell you that I have been forbidden from posting Lost Spoilers... at the risk of DEATH!

But throughout time (get it, *time*??), many heroes have sacrificed their own well being for the betterment of others... and the GURU is no exception!

So, this past weekend, I put a call into my SSSS (super secret spoiler source), and asked him to divulge whatever he could about the final season of the greatest thing in earth's history, aka Lost. AND HE DID NOT DISAPPOINT.

*HERE IS YOUR FINAL WARNING-- WHAT IS LISTED BELOW MIGHT SPOIL THE ENTIRE SEASON FOR YOU!!!-- SCROLL TO THE END FOR SPOILER PHOTOGRAPHS!**


* The Polar Bears on the Island are Robots from Disney
* The Smoke Monster (aka Tony Siragusa) is still hungry, but he doesn't like pizza anymore
* He likes Filet Mignon with Gouda
* Jack decides to stop being lame and start using steroids so that he can fight the smoke monster
* But he still loses and is eaten... with Gouda
* Snitsky murders Doctor Freeze on the Black Rock and then builds the Frozen Wheel that Ben used to move the island.
* Snitsky killed Doctor Freeze with a big boot and then killed Doctor Freeze's baby with a chair shot to the skull
* Nikki and Paulo have a sex scene, but not with each other. Nikki gets with Rose and Paulo gets with Bernard.
* Roger Linus, the enigmatic Phil, and Stuart Radzinsky will form the Island's Holy Trinity (Seen Below)



OMG WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN!!!! TOMORROW, WE FIND OUTTTT!

Lost Season Finale RELATIONSHIP SPOILER!!!

I have it on 100% certifiable authority that this season's finale will flash-forward into the FUTURE. AND WE HAVE THE PICTURES THAT SHOW US WHICH CHARACTERS ULTIMATELY END UP FALLING FOR EACH OTHER!!!!!! AIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!






ROGER AND KATE'S CHILD ALL GROWN UP!!!!

I'M BACK!!!!

Hello spoileraholics. First, I apologize for the extreme delay in posting ENORMOUS spoilers for you all. My spoiler resource got in a lot of trouble after my previous spoilers proved to be 100% correct!

Imagine my surprise, then, when I received an email today containing 2 MASSIVE spoilers. Scroll down for AWESOME spoiler photographs!!!!!111!





Whoa! I don't know what to say! Locke has apparently fallen in love with the island SO much, that he has decided to consummate his relationship with it through coitus! As we can see, he is literally making love to the island. Nice O-Face, JOHN!!!

But that's not the biggest spoiler from today. The mystery of JACOB has been revealed. Brimming with confidence after he boned the island, Locke sets off to confront and KILL Jacob. But Locke's in for a rude surprise when he finally meets this mythic figure.... see below for a mind-blasting SPOILER!!!






O.
M.
G.

Clearly, the MENACING Phil has been season 5's strongest character. And now he's revealed to be the true leader of the island. I Can't say I'm surprised tho. He possesses all of the qualities you look for in a great leader:

1) He's not afraid to hit a chick.
2) He sneers a lot.

I don't know about Locke, but if I was him, I'd hightail it out of there before Phil opens a can of whoop @$$ on me.

That's all for today folks. I'll be back EVERY DAY until the season finale with Massive/Monumental spoilers.

-Spoiler Hunter

Black Rock Mystery.... SOLVED!

Aloha, fellow Lost addicts! My source has come through again in the clutch and sent me an earth-rocking SPOILER-photo! Heck yes! We now know who the original Captain of the Black Rock was.... See below for Spoilergate!














I don't believe my eyes, either! Dr. Freeze was the Captain of the Black Rock!!!! That still leaves many questions, such as: "Where is Dr. Freeze now? Why did Dr. Freeze come to the island? Will we see Dr. Freeze this year?"

I say yes to that last question. The others, I have no clue about.

One other thing I noticed: What is that near the back of the boat?? Theories?!?!

Mondo Spoiler: Fate of the Island Hangs in the Balance....

WOW! I have received a mondo spoiler from my source today! We've been wondering how the fate of the island will be determined. And now, we have the answer!!! See below for BIG TYME spoilers!
















Honestly, I wouldn't have believed it either! And yet, here is 100% certifiable proof that the WINNER of the island will be determined in a break dancing battle! I gotta say, judging from this photo, I like Widmore's confidence and athleticism. If he keeps it up for the entire scene, Ben can kiss this island goodbye!!!!

As always, interpretations are welcome!

The Nature of the SMOKE MONSTER..... REVEALED?!?!?!

A few of the questions that have bothered Lost fans for YEARS are, "What in the heckfire is the Smoke Monster? Why does it kill people? What is its purpose?" Well, I have just received a GIGANTIC spoiler photo that gives us some mighty big clues into solving this mystery!!! See below for big time spoilers!









Now, I'm no expert scientist, but even my 20/30 vision eyes can tell that there's a distinct body encased within the smoke monster. I can't quite tell who or what it is, but one thing is clear... it is really hungry! It looks like it has acquired a large pepperoni pizza from Lil' Caeser's Pizzeria! Another huge spoiler (there's been a Lil' Caeser's on the island the entire time!!).

We can't definitively answer what the monster is, yet. But we do know its purpose (to eat pizzas), and we have a good idea why it's killing people (shitty pizza delivery from its victims). Feel free to leave your theories in the comment section!

BREAKING NEWS!

I have just been given word that the actor who plays Sawyer, Josh Holloway, has been FIRED from Lost! This is truly tragic news for all females who have fallen in love with the renegade hunk. However, not all is "Lost" (get it?). We have been informed that Sawyer has already been recast with a new stud playing the role! Furthermore, we have received the first Screencap of the new actor in action! Enjoy!







I'm sure all the ladies have already forgotten all about Josh Holloway. Here is the future!