HUGE LOST MYSTERY SOLVED!

Howdy fanzzzzz! If you're anything like me, you have a tail; but you also are very excited for Lost's Series finale this Sunday! I already know the entire ending (as spoiled below when Tommy Wiseau defeats Jack and destroys the island and ends the world :(:(:(). However, that doesn't mean that there aren't MORE answers that I, the Lost Guru, can't give you! Because I CAN give you answers to ALL of your unresolved mysteriez! I know you were all on the verge of suicide at the thought of this blog ending with the finale. BUT HAVE NO FEAR! My SSSS (Super Secret Spoiler Source) has intel on EVERY unresolved Lost mystery EVER! YESSSSSSS! And today, I unveil the very first answer to an unresolved past mystery! The Glass Eye that the tail-section survivors (Rosie Perez, the guy from Oz, and 3 other bozos) found in The Arrow station wayyyy back in Season 3.



For a while, people surmised that the glass eye belonged to the immortal Russian "Other" named Mikahil. However, we later saw that his eye was entirely scarred over, so it was evident that he would have no use for a glass eye, unless it was for the sake of being ironic (which would have made me LOL).

Instead of answering this mystery in the show, the Producers decided to focus on more IMPORTANT mysteries, such as how Jack got his tattoos and what happened to Tricia Tanaka, the asian News Reporter. Well, fear not, mystery solvers and spoiler hunters, for I HAVE THE ANSWER!!!!

The Glass Eye belonged to.........
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The World Renowned Auror, MAD-EYE MOODY!!!!! OF COURSE! It was so simple, why did we not see it?!?!

Well, this mystery plays into the theme of this site... SPOILERZZZ! I have it on good word that Mad Eye returns to the island for one final showdown with the Evil Sawyer after Sawyer refers to Mad Eye as "Cyclops". The final battle isn't Smoke Monster vs. Jack, it is Sawyer vs. Mad Eye "Cyclops"!!!

Now I'm REALLY excited to see how it all ends! NAMASTY!!!!

R.I.P (Non Spoilers)

Hi to all my LEGIONS OF FANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not going to lie, I cried during last night's episode, as the love of my life, and favorite female character of all time, perished at the hands of Evil Tony Siragusa, aka Smoke Monster aka The Boss from "Old School"


Jin definitely tapped that fine khaki'd ass.

So, while this was undoubtedly the most tragic and gut-wrenching death in Lost history, it got me to thinking about what the other tragic deaths have been. There have been a LOT of deaths, but I have ranked #s 2-11 below (with Zoe as #1 of course). ENJOYYYYY!Y!Y!Y!Y!Y!

11) Mr. Friendly (Tom)- He was Lost's only openly gay character. Had an awesome turtleneck. I can't believe that COWARD Sawyer shot him in cold blood. What did Mr. Friendly ever do to him?!?!


10) Uncle Rico- The man responsible for killing Sayid (before zombie Sayid stupidly blew himself up-- did he think he was carrying a football or something?), a true hero, got a terribly unfair death by being gassed by his own son. That a-hole Sawyer also dishonored his death by drinking next to his bones and sarcastically calling him "Workman". I hope Sawyer DIES.

9) Doctor Freeze- Dr. Freeze was the guy shackled next to Richard on the black rock. He got stabbed by someone trying to steal his technological advances. Why couldn't that jealous jerk have killed Richard instead??? Then Dr. Freeze would have killed Tony Siragusa by now because he can freeze him with his ice gun!


8) Pickett- Pickett was one of Lost's all-time most beloved characters. He got killed because he was sticking up for himself and his wife (who herself was killed by the MURDEROUS Sun Kwon). And you know who ratted him out??? Yep, SAWYER. No wonder he and the chick who ultimately killed Pickett (Juliet) ended up as Lost's most evil and diabolical couple. What were the writers thinking?!?!?!

7) Edward Mars- What does this show have against Law Enforcement? Edward Mars, the charming, kind-hearted U.S Marshall assigned to bring the terrorist (Kate) to justice, gets another unfair shake when Sawyer, (surprise, surprise) claiming he wants to end Edward's suffering, misfires and instead puts him into more agony!!!! This ultimately leads to Jack Shephard (or Dr. Jack Kevorkian, as I like to call him) putting him down like a wounded dog. The main characters on this show are jerks. Why has it taken me 6 seasons to realize this?!?!


6) The guy who got sucked into the Airplane in The Pilot- While I have no solid proof, if you freeze the screen .1 seconds before this poor man gets sucked in, I believe you can see a blurry image of Sawyer sneaking up behind him and giving him a nudge. What a menace. I cried.
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#s 5-1 coming tomorrow!!!!

RETROACTIVE SPOILER OMGOMGOMGOMG!

HELLO Lost fans! This is a MONDO retroactive spoiler that was revealed in last night's episode, "Across the Sea"!!!!

This one will sadden and anger some of you even more than the spoiler about MIB being Tommy Wiseau and winning the war. Because this spoiler reveals that, last night, LOST JUMPED THE SHARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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SERIES FINALE MEGA SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We must keep this secret between us, Spoiler-holics! I have just been given the final screen grab from the final scene of the series finale of the epic that is LOST!

Give me a second, I need to gather my breath. I can not believe I just wrote that last statement. My friends, if you do not wish to have the ending of Lost ruined for you, do not read or look below. The final outcome of our 6 season adventure is revealed. Glance at your own risk!!!!!!!!!!

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you're anything like me, you are shocked to see the Man in Black's true identity revealed. You're also flabbergasted that he has WON the final battle and that the island is destroyed and Jack Shepard is dead.

LET THE WEEPING BEGIN I SAY WE BURN DAMON LINDELOF'S HOUSE DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOST SPOILER PARADISE IS BACK!!!

Dearest Lost Spoiler Addicts, THE LOST GURU IS BACK!!!!!!!!





Now, I know what everyone is thinking!! Why has it been so long, Guru!??! While I legally can't tell you the full story, I can tell you that I have been forbidden from posting Lost Spoilers... at the risk of DEATH!

But throughout time (get it, *time*??), many heroes have sacrificed their own well being for the betterment of others... and the GURU is no exception!

So, this past weekend, I put a call into my SSSS (super secret spoiler source), and asked him to divulge whatever he could about the final season of the greatest thing in earth's history, aka Lost. AND HE DID NOT DISAPPOINT.

*HERE IS YOUR FINAL WARNING-- WHAT IS LISTED BELOW MIGHT SPOIL THE ENTIRE SEASON FOR YOU!!!-- SCROLL TO THE END FOR SPOILER PHOTOGRAPHS!**


* The Polar Bears on the Island are Robots from Disney
* The Smoke Monster (aka Tony Siragusa) is still hungry, but he doesn't like pizza anymore
* He likes Filet Mignon with Gouda
* Jack decides to stop being lame and start using steroids so that he can fight the smoke monster
* But he still loses and is eaten... with Gouda
* Snitsky murders Doctor Freeze on the Black Rock and then builds the Frozen Wheel that Ben used to move the island.
* Snitsky killed Doctor Freeze with a big boot and then killed Doctor Freeze's baby with a chair shot to the skull
* Nikki and Paulo have a sex scene, but not with each other. Nikki gets with Rose and Paulo gets with Bernard.
* Roger Linus, the enigmatic Phil, and Stuart Radzinsky will form the Island's Holy Trinity (Seen Below)



OMG WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN!!!! TOMORROW, WE FIND OUTTTT!

Lost Season Finale RELATIONSHIP SPOILER!!!

I have it on 100% certifiable authority that this season's finale will flash-forward into the FUTURE. AND WE HAVE THE PICTURES THAT SHOW US WHICH CHARACTERS ULTIMATELY END UP FALLING FOR EACH OTHER!!!!!! AIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!






ROGER AND KATE'S CHILD ALL GROWN UP!!!!

I'M BACK!!!!

Hello spoileraholics. First, I apologize for the extreme delay in posting ENORMOUS spoilers for you all. My spoiler resource got in a lot of trouble after my previous spoilers proved to be 100% correct!

Imagine my surprise, then, when I received an email today containing 2 MASSIVE spoilers. Scroll down for AWESOME spoiler photographs!!!!!111!





Whoa! I don't know what to say! Locke has apparently fallen in love with the island SO much, that he has decided to consummate his relationship with it through coitus! As we can see, he is literally making love to the island. Nice O-Face, JOHN!!!

But that's not the biggest spoiler from today. The mystery of JACOB has been revealed. Brimming with confidence after he boned the island, Locke sets off to confront and KILL Jacob. But Locke's in for a rude surprise when he finally meets this mythic figure.... see below for a mind-blasting SPOILER!!!






O.
M.
G.

Clearly, the MENACING Phil has been season 5's strongest character. And now he's revealed to be the true leader of the island. I Can't say I'm surprised tho. He possesses all of the qualities you look for in a great leader:

1) He's not afraid to hit a chick.
2) He sneers a lot.

I don't know about Locke, but if I was him, I'd hightail it out of there before Phil opens a can of whoop @$$ on me.

That's all for today folks. I'll be back EVERY DAY until the season finale with Massive/Monumental spoilers.

-Spoiler Hunter